Tradition trumps dignity, abuse and fear

The recent news of the new United States TSA regulations on freely allowing people to be groped in the name of security, reminded me of an event in my life.

I converted to Judaism when I was eighteen. I was rather excited to joining the tribe of people that my dad and his family were a part of, some of the things I'd participated in before I could walk, like finding the afikoman at Passover. I went to all the classes, went on the field trips, and generally learned a lot.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mikveh
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ritual_washing_in_Judaism#Full-body_immersion


Part of the conversion ceremony for both men and women is immersion in a ritual bath, called a mikveh. The mikveh is the inspiration behind the Christian ritual of baptism; obervant women also use the mikveh every month to mark the end of their menstrual cycles (seven days with no discharge following the end of bleeding), and the beginning of time when they can once again engage in sexual intercourse until the beginning of their next period. Other than the monthly rites of women, the mikveh is most often used in Jewish conversion ceremonies. It can also be used by any Jew who wishes to have an experience of spiritual renewal. In modern times, the mikveh looks much like a tiny swimming pool, with steps and a railing leading down into it. The only requirement that differentiates it from a swimming pool is that the water that comes into it must flow from a natural source.

The time for my mikveh approached, and I researched it. Ritual requires that the immersing person be completely naked, having bathed or showered thoroughly beforehand. While you are naked, you must enter the mikveh, say the blessings for it, and immerse yourself, lifting your feet off the floor of the pool to make sure the water touches every part of you. You must be observed by at least one other person of the same sex while doing all of this. When that's done, you emerge from the water, dry off, get dressed, and then have a party.

The bathing, I had no problem with. Checking under my fingernails to make sure there was absolutely no dirt? Fine and dandy. Covering any cuts or sores with band-aids? Of course.

I explained to my instructor that I had been sexually abused as a child, and so was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of being naked and having to have anyone observe me in this state. It didn't matter that it would be another woman - eventually, there were two - one woman from my conversion class that I barely knew, and another woman who was a distant cousin of mine. Double the pair of eyes and humiliation.

It was still highly distasteful to me, and I asked if there might be a way I could cover up during the ritual. After all, modesty in women is highly valued in Judaism - there are books dictating down to the last possible detail as to how an observant woman should dress and behave, so that her sexuality is not looked upon by others or exploited.

But that, apparently, didn't matter one iota. My instructor told me that being naked was essential, and it felt like he didn't listen to a word I said. He told me that I could perhaps wrap a sheet around myself before entering the mikveh, but once underwater, I absolutely had to let the sheet fall away from me and float above me, to ensure that the mikveh water did not miss any part of me.

There was no room for debate. So, I ended up doing this thing in the way they wanted, with two women looking at me when I was naked, and my feelings were irrelevant. I was terrified and humiliated.

So, where do we draw the line in the modern world between tradition and dignity in Judaism, or as in the case of the recent TSA regulations, security, fear and dignity?

Chronic Illness and the Holidays

It's that time of year again, when we have to gather with relatives, eat lots of stuff, drive all over the place, shop for presents...and figure out where and when to use the limited spoons we have. Chronic illness adds a whole new level of complications to the holidays, but over the years I've found a few ways to make life easier.

Make lists. Because brainfog won't let me remember much. STM (short-term memory) issues are also a factor, which may be illness-related, weather-change-related, or medication-related. You can also make plans for doing stuff in such a way as to conserve what few spoons you have. Which leads me to the next point.

Amazon: This is where I buy gifts for people, because it means I don't have to physically go out and traipse around the mall. Gift wrapping is available on most items, and you can keep track of addresses as well. It also offers reminders for people's birthdays and special events. Amazon also does the shipping for you. Since my family is across the Atlantic, shipping from the UK can be a right pain if you're shipping everything by yourself by going to...

The dreaded post office. Queues. Not fun for a Spoonie. They really need to have more chairs in there. If you can manage it, do your off-Amazon Christmas shipping all on one pre-determined date, that will ensure that the parcels get to where they need to be before December 25. Use the blue badge to get close parking.

If anyone has more ideas, please post them in the comments!

The Birth Plan

Just watched this hilarious video on "birth plans". Oy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ob3tObX3Fg&feature=player_embedded

Name Change!

I've changed the name and description (but not the URL) of my site to match up with my Facebook profile description. Hopefully that will make it more synchronous.

*noms on hot chocolate and cereal for brecky*

Opinion or No Opinion.

Lately, people have been indicating to me that my posts, which usually contain a link to an article I've read, are either alienating them, or downright offending them. This happens via facebook or Twitter. I recently discovered TweetDeck, and find it much more spoon-friendly to use. For example, it automatically shortens URLs (no more tinyurl.com usage, copy-pasting), and I can keep track of a select number of my followers or followees, without having to (excuse the pun) troll through 30 billion new tweets.

Further to that, there are two types of offences I commit:

1) Posting an article I read, and I do not post my opinion on it.

or

2) Posting an article I read, and I have formed an opinion on it, which I include.

Both of these cause offence.

N pointed out that the problem with my tweets was the tone, not the content. Funny: the BYDLS admin said the same thing about him.

The reason my tweets are the way they are is that I like to provide a short summary of the link I am posting, If it happens to be offensive, that means that this offending material comes from the article, not me.

In order to please the offendees, I would theoretically have to stop reading blogs altogether. So I beg their forgiveness on the following points:

1) Excuse me for being interested in the world around me, and being interested in what people have to say about it.

2) Excuse me for wanting to keep people updated on my activities. It would be boring for them if all I had to say was that I knitted, washed dishes and cooked dinner.

3)If my reading habits disturb you, then there is something very easy you can do. I'm quite certain you can manage it. If not, books are available to help you:


Don't read my updates. It's as simple as that, and the power is within each of you to push the Ignore button.

I will not be offended at all. Either you can surround yourself with people who love and value you, or allow the ones who aren't to remain and fuck you up. If you don't cut loose the ones who don't support you, it drains spoons that could be used elsewhere. And if they cut loose before you can get to them, easier on you

Oh dear, that last paragraph must have offended someone. I almost hope it did. I'm glad I have had such a profound impact on your day so as to let a little thing like me upset you.

But really, I expect no forgiveness. I'm just being facetious.

Asthma update

Saw the doc on Tuesday for an asthma check.

I am currently on:
Ventolin inhaler (rescue)
Serevent inhaler (long-term maintenance; LTM)
Beclometasole inhaler (LTM)
Singular (Montelukast) tablet (LTM)

Doc is happier with the way I am sounding. Less coughing (upright), and able to talk for more than 5 minutes at a stretch. The coughing is still pretty bad at night, but it is technically better. Lungs till feel very gritty, but doc says that what we should do (the royal we) is give the preventative inhalers more time to work, and I should feel better in a month or so. Of course, if symptoms get worse, come back.

I Think I Gots Meself a Job

http://www.amazon.co.uk/tag/religion/forum/ref=cm_cd_notf_message?_encoding=UTF8&cdForum=Fx24A4CS3HPMJLK&cdPage=326&cdThread=TxPGLQGLZ5QWW0#Mx35Q1E6VHICPV2

I've been on these forums for quite some time, and just been nominated for a job as moderator! Wow! Thing is, I don;t have access to the functions in a forum that a mod would normally have, such as the ability to split topics. Ideas?