Despair

I get up, feeling miserable, and start crying for no reason. Every day like this for weeks. The doc says it's because my husband won't do his fair share around the house. I am as sick as he is, yet I manage to do my thing. I have come to love the sound of that little "pop" that emanates from a pill box of lorazepams. I have panic attacks when I look at the piles of unwashed dishes, the filthy cat litter box (the one time I tried to clean it myself, I fell into it), so hubby said that would be his job. I'm still waiting.

I feel useless.

I am getting my hair cut tomorrow. Maybe it will make me feel better.