July 12, 2010
My Mom was in chat with me a few hours ago, and she blurted out that my grandpa Marcel, her dad, died this morning in his care home in Winnipeg, where I am from. :cry:
He was 89 years old (born 4 April 1921), and having many tiny strokes, so this was probably what got him; he died peacefully in his sleep during his after-breakfast nap. My sister said my mom was sorry for blurting it out like that, and also is keeping us up to date on the arrangements. My uncle is flying in from Toronto to help out, whatever that means.
My last information on the arrangements planned in advance was that he wanted to be buried in Belgium, where he was born. He was very much interested in his family geneaology, and as I understand it, there is a cemetery in a Belgian city where many of his ancestors (The Blanchaers) are buried. I think he'd like that, but I have no idea what his most recent wishes were. If he wanted to be buried there, I hope my family will make the effort to do that for him.
I do not know at this time if that is what will happen in actuality, but if there is something like that in the works, Nath and I will make arrangements to go there for whatever is planned. Or if they want us to come to Canada, same thing. But as I said, these things were only vaguely talked about with Grandpa in life, and his wishes may have changed. My sister will let us know. She said my mom would try to phone us this evening, but we haven't heard from her yet. Probably just as well.
The good thing is that Grandpa got to see and hold his baby great-grandchildren, my sister's twins (Emily and Isaac), less than 2 weeks ago. From the brain damage from strokes, he wasn't always "engaged" with people around him, but holy crap, he looks so happy and "with it" in the photos that my sister sent when they got to visit!
Sigh.
July 13, 2010
I talked on the phone with mom today.
My family is doing exactly what I expected them to do, given their limited skill in expressing any emotion - they are doing nothing at all to honor my grandfather.
Diddly squat.
Well, except cremating him and ignoring his wishes because it would be expensive and too much trouble. This pisses me off. When I asked mom about when grandpa had said (when I was in the same room with him to hear this) he wanted to be buried in Belgium, Mom said, "Oh, I don't think he really meant it."
Convenient, eh?
My uncle, aunt and cousins have flown in from Toronto to do...nothing? And Mom does not want Nath and me to come because it would be pointless.
Is there a Darwin Award for having all the personality and emotion of a tabletop? Because this describes my family in spades. The exact same thing happened when my grandma died in 1999, except in her case she left no clear wishes. No memorial, no nothing.
Her ashes stayed in a cardboard box in my mother's closet for over 3 years. Then they finally got around to scattering them. When I die, I do not want my remains to be shut in a damned closet.
WTF?
Idiots.
I am going on Youtube to play the Mourner's Kaddish scene from Angels in America. Given my grandfather's personality, it fits nicely. Don't be afraid to laugh. I did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H0Fi83wEWk
OK, that made me feel better.
I did want to argue with them, and I asked carefully worded questions to my mom so as to soften it...but when it came to really letting them have it, I bit my tongue. And freaked out later on, here.
But you did make me laugh. [Penelope - Carolyn told me a story about her family treating a dead relative's remains just as disrespectfully, to let me know my family wasn't the only screwed-up one. It made me laugh, as horrid as it was.]
Nath has an idea, and I'm all for it. Once they do god only knows what with the ashes - i.e. they mentioned scattering them over Grandpa's parents' graves in the Belgian cemetery in Winnipeg - he suggests that the next time the two of us go to Winnipeg, we secretly go to the cemetery, pick up some soil from the graves (just a small amount, we're not taking shovels or anything), take it back to the UK with us, and we can place it in Belgium ourselves. But we don't tell Mom or anyone until after the deed is done.
I think it would give me some peace of mind, and that was also Nath's feeling. And I think it would make Grandpa Marcel happy. [b][u][i]I will NOT tolerate my family members' deaths or remains being so disrespected![/i][/u][/b] So he was a pain in the neck, rude sometimes, self-centered and a huge imposition on my mother, but darnit, he deserves a little RESPECT!
Nath also suggested reading the Kaddish (with the special ending MWAHAHAHAHA!) when we do that.
I do not give a shit if my family reads this and is upset - they fucking well should be!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Client Threw a Shoe at Me
For a few months, I have been in communication with someone abroad who wants to buy an afghan from my Etsy site, and wants it custom-made to her liking, to be ready by a certain date. I said, sure, I can do that.
She said, "I don't want you to go to any trouble."
Uhm, that's why you're paying me!
Early on, I told her that certain patterns would take more time and be more expensive, because they are more complex and therefore take longer to make. I reminded her of this a few times along the way when I emailed her to see if she had made up her mind.
She said she could not look at the yarn on a website with pictures, and I, stupidly but in a customer-friendly way, offered to knit and send her swatches of the yarns I had on hand plus the ones she was miraculously able to choose from said website.
Even allowing for long postal times, it took her a month from when we first talked for her to choose colours and a pattern.
When she finally decided, wanted to snail-mail me her pattern idea (tack on another month where I have to wait to receive the pattern before starting), and told me in an email her ideas, catastrophe struck.
She wanted the most expensive pattern that would take the longest amount of time. I wrote her back and said (professionally and politely) that there was no conceivable way I could complete the project on time for when she needed it. Originally, I worked out how long each pattern would take me, and she was aware that a certain pattern would not be feasible if she wanted it by a certain date - which she did.
Her answer was "Don't worry about it. I will reimburse you for the yarn you've bought to send me the swatches".
Trying not to sound like I was begging, I emailed her and asked if she would like to continue but with a different pattern that I could complete well before the due date?
I hate to sound like I am begging, but let's be realistic. These knitting projects are not produced out of thin air, and it appears that she thinks they do.
My husband and friends agree that she is nuts, has no concept of how long these things take, and needs a reality check. The reason I am so disheartened by this is that my business is fledgling, and my customers are few and far between, so I need all the business I can get. If I lose this one, yuck!
On the positive side, if she backs out, I will get money for the yarn and shipping cpsts, and I can make scarves out of the yarn I bought to make her swatches. I am also updating my Etsy site's main page to prevent shit like this from happening again.
My husband quipped that this client threw a shoe at me, in reference to George W Bush's visit to Iraq last year, in which angry journalists lobbed shoes at the ex-president. Do to so says much more about the client than it does about me.
You can see my Etsy products at http://warmochfuzzy.etsy.com/
She said, "I don't want you to go to any trouble."
Uhm, that's why you're paying me!
Early on, I told her that certain patterns would take more time and be more expensive, because they are more complex and therefore take longer to make. I reminded her of this a few times along the way when I emailed her to see if she had made up her mind.
She said she could not look at the yarn on a website with pictures, and I, stupidly but in a customer-friendly way, offered to knit and send her swatches of the yarns I had on hand plus the ones she was miraculously able to choose from said website.
Even allowing for long postal times, it took her a month from when we first talked for her to choose colours and a pattern.
When she finally decided, wanted to snail-mail me her pattern idea (tack on another month where I have to wait to receive the pattern before starting), and told me in an email her ideas, catastrophe struck.
She wanted the most expensive pattern that would take the longest amount of time. I wrote her back and said (professionally and politely) that there was no conceivable way I could complete the project on time for when she needed it. Originally, I worked out how long each pattern would take me, and she was aware that a certain pattern would not be feasible if she wanted it by a certain date - which she did.
Her answer was "Don't worry about it. I will reimburse you for the yarn you've bought to send me the swatches".
Trying not to sound like I was begging, I emailed her and asked if she would like to continue but with a different pattern that I could complete well before the due date?
I hate to sound like I am begging, but let's be realistic. These knitting projects are not produced out of thin air, and it appears that she thinks they do.
My husband and friends agree that she is nuts, has no concept of how long these things take, and needs a reality check. The reason I am so disheartened by this is that my business is fledgling, and my customers are few and far between, so I need all the business I can get. If I lose this one, yuck!
On the positive side, if she backs out, I will get money for the yarn and shipping cpsts, and I can make scarves out of the yarn I bought to make her swatches. I am also updating my Etsy site's main page to prevent shit like this from happening again.
My husband quipped that this client threw a shoe at me, in reference to George W Bush's visit to Iraq last year, in which angry journalists lobbed shoes at the ex-president. Do to so says much more about the client than it does about me.
You can see my Etsy products at http://warmochfuzzy.etsy.com/
My Sister's Pregnancy, Part II
So today I learned that my sister will probably not want to let Mom have the babies at her house for babysitting when we come visit. My husband and I are unable to get into my sister's house because she refuses to put a railing on the front steps; both my husband and I walk with sticks, and have difficulty with stairs.
My sister has refused to put up a railing since they moved into that house 5 years ago. She claims that it would ruin the front facade/decor.
I know that this idea is paranoid, but it feels like my sister deliberately does not want me to see her babies. Also, she is fundamental Christian and I am Jewish. Does she think I am going to eat the babies for lunch?
My sister has refused to put up a railing since they moved into that house 5 years ago. She claims that it would ruin the front facade/decor.
I know that this idea is paranoid, but it feels like my sister deliberately does not want me to see her babies. Also, she is fundamental Christian and I am Jewish. Does she think I am going to eat the babies for lunch?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
My Sister's Pregnancy
My sister is expecting twins in April or May, and lives in Canada. Nath and I have repeatedly asked for photos so we can share in the pregnancy excitement from the other side of the pond; it's the ONLY way we can experience it.
But we have only received two photos early on, and my mom says my sister doesn't want to take more photos because she's "touchy about the way she looks". Another reason earlier on was that she was in a lot of pain because the babies were putting pressure on her organs. Nath and I wonder, "how does that preclude taking photos?" We're in pain all the time and we take photos of memorable events! What's the problem???
Erm...she's fat and pregnant...what's wrong with that??? It's normal! Was she expecting to stay svelte and not break out in acne because her hormones are going nuts? I get the feeling she's too posh to push. They spent the first ten years of marriage creating the perfect house...that's all going to go down the toilet, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to their disillusionment.
Sigh. This post is a bit of a rant on my part because of ongoing related problems, and I am on my period so very hormonally volatile when it comes to discussing anything related to pregnancy. Nath and I are thus far unable to have intercourse, but we want to have kids, start trying next year. So anything related to fertility and pregnancy gets me riled up because I feel inadequate. My vaginismus and his fibro make intercourse thus far impossible, so hearing about anyone else's pregnancy drives me to tears.
But we have only received two photos early on, and my mom says my sister doesn't want to take more photos because she's "touchy about the way she looks". Another reason earlier on was that she was in a lot of pain because the babies were putting pressure on her organs. Nath and I wonder, "how does that preclude taking photos?" We're in pain all the time and we take photos of memorable events! What's the problem???
Erm...she's fat and pregnant...what's wrong with that??? It's normal! Was she expecting to stay svelte and not break out in acne because her hormones are going nuts? I get the feeling she's too posh to push. They spent the first ten years of marriage creating the perfect house...that's all going to go down the toilet, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to their disillusionment.
Sigh. This post is a bit of a rant on my part because of ongoing related problems, and I am on my period so very hormonally volatile when it comes to discussing anything related to pregnancy. Nath and I are thus far unable to have intercourse, but we want to have kids, start trying next year. So anything related to fertility and pregnancy gets me riled up because I feel inadequate. My vaginismus and his fibro make intercourse thus far impossible, so hearing about anyone else's pregnancy drives me to tears.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Interdigitate: Word of the Day 16/01/2010
VERB
Meaning: to become interlocked like the fingers of folded hands
Example Sentence
"The edges [of bridge expansion joints] often are shaped like combs, the teeth of one interdigitating with teeth of the other." (The Washington Post, January 14, 1998)
Meaning: to become interlocked like the fingers of folded hands
Example Sentence
"The edges [of bridge expansion joints] often are shaped like combs, the teeth of one interdigitating with teeth of the other." (The Washington Post, January 14, 1998)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Alternatives to the alternative
http://newly-nerfed.net/2009/12/21/alternatives-to-the-alternative/
My husband wrote a thread on the popular "But You Don't Look Sick?" message boards What's the Harm in CAM? about the potential harm done to patients by some forms of complimentary and alternative medicine (CAM). When he was requesting evidence that the treatments people were espousing worked, he was attacked by certain members who felt that he was maligning their chosen form of health care. Evidence was never presented. It was felt by some that there was no need to present evidence, as the patients' feeling better from these treatments was evidence enough.
It is not empirical evidence, and when called upon to produce empirical evidence, CAM-supporters usually come up empty-handed.
My husband wrote a thread on the popular "But You Don't Look Sick?" message boards What's the Harm in CAM? about the potential harm done to patients by some forms of complimentary and alternative medicine (CAM). When he was requesting evidence that the treatments people were espousing worked, he was attacked by certain members who felt that he was maligning their chosen form of health care. Evidence was never presented. It was felt by some that there was no need to present evidence, as the patients' feeling better from these treatments was evidence enough.
It is not empirical evidence, and when called upon to produce empirical evidence, CAM-supporters usually come up empty-handed.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
The Prosecution of George W Bush for Murder.
http://www.indiegogo.com/bush
Famed "Manson Family" prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi's 2007 book and forthcoming documentary on why George W Bush should be prosecuted for murder. Pass this link on so they can raise money to finish the documentary!
Famed "Manson Family" prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi's 2007 book and forthcoming documentary on why George W Bush should be prosecuted for murder. Pass this link on so they can raise money to finish the documentary!
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