Mom rant

I think my mom is turning into my step-grandmother. That is, she is beginning to exhibit signs of a martyr complex, coupled with attention-seeking behaviour, and a few liberal dollops of the personality of a two year old. The most common exhibited symptoms are rage, frequent complaining, using me as an emotional dumpster and thinking that by barfing all her problems on me, it makes them "go away". And she is genuinely confused when I begin to show signs of wear at dealing with her repeated abuses (what sh sees include shortened temper, withdrawing, and crying; what she doesn't see is cutting, scratching and more crying.

But don't rely on her for a complete picture: she'll tell you there is no abuse. She is simply incapable of seeing that it is occurring. She would rather stick her head in the sand and pretend everything is peachy-keen, she feels sooo much better after having vomited all her numerous, self-inflicted troubles on me. I said to her, bfore she started talking, that the issues that are stressing her also stress m when the same horrid infomation gets passed to me without my permission. "I'm not in the mood to deal with this elective stuff, today Mom. It upsets me and stresses me out."

"Well, how do you think I feel?? I don't have an option not to deal with this. If I tellit to you, that makes it go away."

So therefore I am supposed to happily experience the many types of stress this engenders with no options myself. What the fuck are we, conjoined twins????

I have, on occasion, gotten up and walked out of the room. It is a peaceful way of ending the stress.

Her response: "Don't you dare walk away from me!"

I am 26 years old, and she think this is a statement that will work? Hell no!

(No, it does not, you spineless, snivelling brat: it just displaces the unpleasantness just as energy never disappears, only changes form.) If I don't submit, she calls me selfish!!!!!!

Today I hacked into her email, and discovered what I already knew: she treats my older sister (3 years older) completely differently. Not a single temper tantrum or ill word has ever passed between them that I have been witness not. Everything is always cheerful and pleasant.

I once tried to go to my sister for emotional support. She was Unaware there s a problem with Mom at all. SHE NEVER SEES IT. THAT'S WHY!!!!!! So, no help there.

So far, my suggestions for her self-improvement have been met with extreme resistance. I get the distinct impression that she does not want to improve, because Oh My God! That would mean makng a cange o multiple changes in her life! It would take....work! What a concept!!

1) Get a shrink, a professional with whom she can work out her insecurities and fits of rage.
Answer (whiny): "I don't want to switch to a new therapist!" [Her current therapist charges a lot of money by the hour, so she reasons that it's cheaper to vomit her trash on one of her daughters.)

2) Did I mention she's addicted to Lorazepam? She pops pills instead of dealing with a difficult situation when it crops up.

3) She's a doormat, complains incessantly about same, and then refuses to take steps so that she can get out of being a doormat. It can be done, but to her, it is too much work, and she is oh-so tired.