"Everything is fine..." says the bunny. (Part I)

I wasn't planning on writing here today, but a friend on www.butyoudonlooksick.com had this bunny as her signature, and it happens to reflect my mood.


My best friend has her head stuck so far up her own *** she can check her tonsils. I will call her Abby.

For a few months now, Abby has been engaged to the guy she's been living with for the past 4 years. The day she got engaged, she was so excited that she phoned me at 8 am.

Me: "Great! Congrats! I'm so happy for you!"

Right?

Abby phones me tonight (this was on February 3), to vent, as she has been doing lately. She talks a lot, and usually I just sit and listen, and say "ah, hm, I see" when appropriate. She never asks what I'm up to. There's an automatic "how are you?" at the beginning of all phone calls, but without real interest in the answer.

Sometimes she phones me after she is drunk. Usually this is a great source of mutual amusement. She's also on Xanax and an anti-psychotic, and she raves about how it has calmed her down so much, and she feels great, except for attacks of agoraphobia which have curtailed our getting together at university before classes like we used to.

Lately she has chastised me for not being at the meeting spot lately. Lockers. Sometimes I don't have time to stash my coat, and having not heard from her, I assume she will not be there.

The next day, I invariably get a phone call: "Where were you?"

But back to the phone call tonight...

She starts talking about the wedding dress she found. She loves it, it is perfect, etc. Me: "That's nice, Abby." I have no clue because she's not keeping me in the loop at all.

Then the subject moves on to the wedding. I don't know when the date will be; Abby has not told me. Every time I ask, she says she doesn't know yet.

Then, out of the clear blue sky, she says casually, "You're not invited. There are only so many people that we're inviting...but you understand, of course." (That wasn't a question. Her voice is cheery, as if nothing is amiss.)

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then she keeps talking, as if what she said isn't meant to have an effect on me. I didn't realize how much it stung until 20 minutes after hanging up, and I relayed the story to my boyfriend and my mum.

It's not that I look for or expect invites like this; social situations are stressful for me, and I would most likely have politely declined.

But...isn't there a better way of saying something like what she did?

Is this worth ending a friendship, such as it is? She's my only friend outside of the people on But You Don't Look Sick?. All my other friends are there.

The best friend designation was her idea. That is what galls.