"Everything is fine..." says the bunny. (Part XI) - hopefully this is the last post on the subject!

I wish she'd mail the thing. I gave her the option without being snotty about it. Geez...

As I've been discussing with Sarah, my mom is trying to convince me that I should "end things positively". By that she means invite Kate in for tea on Saturday and try to talk it out with her. Mom's way of thinking is founded on a certain philosophy that is not the same as mine: Give Kate a second chance. People supposedlydeserve a second chance

What she doesn;t realize is that Kate has had many "second chances". I tolerated her behaviour for a long time. I should have said right away that the wedding thing upset me, but I didn't because I was in shock.

I don't want to have Kate in. What that will do is open the door (literally) for Kate to yell at me, in my kitchen, while on m turf. I don't see why I should put myself through that. Unless she acts kindly, I'd planned on saying thank you for giving the CD back, and have done with it.

My mom doesn't understand why I won't invite Kate in. She has always been overly optimistic, and she has not read any of my BYDLS posts. All she has read are the emails I posted here; I let her read them.

Mom was sitting in the same room when Kate told me I would not be invited to her wedding. I relayed the information to her after I hung up.

I don't think she will want to come in, and I have no intention of engendering Mom's little fantasy of "making nice", when it has a good chance of making me more upset. I have already cried about this for days, when nobody was home. Kate will very likely scream at me. Why should I endure that? My mom's advice has been toxic in the past.

Last night I almost sent Kate an email to bring to her attention that she hurt my feelings by saying casually that I was not invted to her wedding.

Mom's argument is that Kate has no idea she said anything wrong, and that I am obligated to tell her she hurt my feelings. I thought I made that clear in the email.

I chose not to send it. I think Kate is aware of what she said and how extremely rude it was.

How can someone say something like that and be ignorant of the effect it will have? Either:

1) she is so self-involved she didn't realize that words have consequences, or

2) she knows and didn't give a crap.

Her outrage at my email would seem to support reason #1.

If I invite Kate in, that rewards her behaviour. I will not do it.



I really hope this is the last time I post about this topic. I'd rather post about happy things.